iRead

When I was a little girl, I would spend hours at the library. From Babysitter's Club books to Sweet Valley Twins and everything in between (except Goosebumps...way too scary for this little girl) I would read it. I had usually finished the required reading for the summer reading program by the end of June. I went to Noah's Ark in Wisconsin Dells more times than I can remember because I completed the entire summer reading program. Reading has always been a pastime with which I was completely in love.

I think sometimes we get so swept up in being an adult that we forget to take time for the little things. People like to tease me for being "easily amused" by the little things. Like a new battery arriving in the mail for a remote. Or someone forgiving my library fine. Or getting a text message from someone just asking me about my day. There are so many things that are bad in this world, that I just feel like we need to take every ounce of good, no matter how small or insignificant, and appreciate it. What excited you when you were younger? A new box of crayons or sidewalk chalk? Mom or Dad taking you to McDonald's for supper and letting you get a Happy Meal? The first day of summer when you got that brand new pool pass that you knew would be wrinkly from use by the end of the summer? When Mom made homemade play dough. Catching fireflies  while the baseball game across the street continued late into the night? When you got to go to the Pumpkin farm and pick out your own pumpkin?

The funny thing is that almost all of these are things that I remember from my childhood that didn't

require a lot of time or energy, but sure did bring me a lot of happiness. They are also things that I still try to do as an adult, despite the fact that I don't have kids. Today I did something from my childhood that brings me joy. I read.

Now normally when I come home from a day of work, I get home around 8pm (keeping in mind that I left between 6 and 6:30am). This is usually just enough time to eat something if I haven't already, packed up the bag for the next day, wash my face, and crawl into bed. Despite there being several books on my nightstand, the last thing that I want to do is read. The truth of the matter is, I've been reading emails or work for the majority of the day and I'm probably going to fall asleep within ten minutes and not remember what I read anyway.

But today? Oh, today was different. You see, today...I had the day off. This is my first day off since August 12 when we started school. Weekends don't count...everybody has those (and I usually put in 12-16 hours of school work anyway). And any additional time off has been filled with teacher conferences or meetings of some sort. But today? Today was different. I didn't have to be at school for any meetings. I knew I wouldn't get called into school as tech support because there wasn't anything else going on. Today was mine.

I spent the majority of the weekend working on household tasks that haven't gotten done over the course of a couple very busy weeks. This morning I woke up to a pocket dial from the Midwest around 6:15am, but that was ok because I got up to start my day. By 9am, I had a load of laundry through the wash, the dishwasher full, and a sink full of dishes drying. I made some eggs and veggies and a big pot of coffee, and walked out onto my patio to do something that I haven't done since probably last June...read. I've been trying to get through the lastest Jodi Picoult book, The Storyteller. (Sidenote: Although intense sometimes, I'd highly recommend, especially if you have any interest in the Holocaust.)

There was a part of the book that really struck me as I was reading it. Two of the characters, Leo and Sage, are not a couple, though they keep getting approached and treated as one by a variety of people from the small town that the two of them are visiting.

*The following passage is from an excerpt from Jodi Piccoult's book The Storyteller. I do not own the content. Copyright 2013 Jodi Picoult

Twice more we are approached and asked if we've just moved here. The first time, Leo says that we were going to go to the movies but something was playing so we came to temple instead. The second time, he replies that he is a federal agent and I'm helping him crack a case. The man who's been chatting with us laughs. "Good one," he says.
"You'd be surprised how hard it is to get people to believe the truth," Leo tells me later, as we walk across the parking lot.
But I'm not surprised. Look at how hard I fought Josef, when he tried to tell me who he used to be. "I guess that's because most of the time we don't want to admit it to ourselves."
"That's true," Leo says thoughtfully. "It's amazing what you can convince yourself of, if you buy into the lie."
You can believe, for example, that a dead-end job is a career. You can blame our ugliness for keeping people at bay, when in reality you're crippled by the thought of letting another person close enough to potentially scar you even more deeply. You can tell yourself that it's safer to love someone who will never really love you back, because you can't lose someone you never had."

That last line made me stop in the midst of my coffee drinking marathon. Isn't that true in a variety of circumstances? How many times have we chosen a certain path because it would be easier, and not because it was necessarily the right choice. How many of us have taken the easy path to avoid conflict? How many of us have stayed in a relationship that, if we looked deep down and were truly honest with ourselves, knew that it wasn't good for us to be in? Or that we spent so much time convincing ourselves that it was right but we knew would never really last? Because then we would be alone. And sometimes something is better than nothing? Or maybe there was someone, but giving yourself to them meant giving up control...and along with them came the potential for heartache...or even heartbreak.

Do you remember the movie Along Came Polly? If you haven't seen it or have forgotten, here's a little reminder...

Risk is scary. It means that there is the possibility for loss. But it also means that you have something or the potential for something that is worth losing. And I don't know about you, but I don't like to live with "what ifs." Sometimes you just need to try...jump in head first. I think of this every time I get into the pool at the gym. I know the first minute is going to be a little uncomfortable or shocking to my system. But I know the reward (in this case, sexy toned arms) are going to worth the risk. I think the same is true for lots of things in life, but especially in relationships. Sometimes you just need to jump in. Try it. Challenge yourself. Yes, there is the potential for loss. Or hurt. Or heartbreak. But these are the experiences that make us who we are...and who we are becoming. They are the experiences that are preparing us for the reward. And sometimes? Sometimes the reward far outweighs the risk.

Live. Laugh. Love.

Always the write time...

If you know me as all, you'll know that grammatical errors drive me nuts. I'm not exactly sure how this happened though because I didn't really have much of an English class until 7th grade (I still remember the look of panic on the new teacher's face when he realized the whole class of 18 was at a third grade English level). I still couldn't diagram a sentence for you to save myself, but I have always loved books and reading. Props to my mom for letting us kids read hours upon hours in the summers. My younger brother and I would ride our bikes down to the library during the summers (remember the summer reading program) and bask in the relief of the free air condition and free book on many hot Wisconsin afternoons.

Anyway, somewhere along the lines I fell in love with writing. I can't tell you any of the rules behind, but I love to do it. And if you use to, too, or two incorrectly (along with their, there, they're...not to mention you're and your) it'll drive me bonkers. Just don't ask me to tell you what anything is beyond the basic parts of speech. But I digress from the topic at hand...what was that again?

Ah, yes. Writing. It has become my outlet. Especially in the last couple years. I really enjoy blogging. winey whiney? Why do I even write this for everyone to read? Shouldn't this be something I keep private?
Wish I had time to do it more often. It's so honest. Well, it can be. It can also be a load of crap, just like anything else. But when I write my blogs, I try to keep it real. It seems like people crave honesty these days. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too honest. *pausing to think about that* You start to wonder what people are thinking when they read your blog posts. Can the readers relate to me? Do they think I'm crazy? Does this post sound

I guess there are two main reasons I write (can you tell I'm in teacher mode? I'd make the kids highlight or underline here...)

1. I write to get it out. Sometimes some of this thoughts swirl around and around and around in my head and drive me CRAZY. If I can get the thoughts out of my own head, I have a better time being able to deal with them.
2. So people don't feel so alone. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. There a saying about how you should be kind to everyone that you meet because everyone is fighting a great battle. Each person is unique and different. Each person has stressors in their life. Example time!

The Infant: "HUNGRY! WAAAAHHHH!"

The Second Grader: "Is *insert best friend name here* going to play with me at recess today? If they don't play with me, who will? Why did they invite all the other kids over for a pool party and not me? I don't want the teacher to call on me to read out loud because I don't know some of those words. I lost my sidewalk chalk today and I can't find it anywhere. I miss the days when I got to stay at home with mom all day."

The Middle Schooler: "The popular kids don't talk to me. They were supposed to say something nice about me in class and they told me I clashed clothes well. I wish I could just fit in. I miss the days when everyone just played together."

The High Schooler: "I'm stressing out ALL the time. My homework is so hard. Why don't I understand it? I don't want to disappoint my parents. I need to get good grades so I get into a good college. But I need to have activities too. I'm just running out of time. I want to spend time with my friends. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my friend to a guy she likes. I know we don't have money, but I'm so sick of eating spaghetti for dinner ALL the time. I miss the days when losing your sidewalk chalk was your biggest problem."

The College Student: "Work, school, social life. I feel like all I do is the first two. No one tells you that once you get into a good school the work is just beginning. Now I worry about how to pay for school, how to pay for food, and getting good grades so I can 'rise above the rest' and get a good internship and get a good job. I miss the days when you went home after practice and there was dinner waiting for you, even if it was spaghetti for the third time this week."

The Single 20 Something: "Everyone is married. Everyone is having kids. Everyone is buying homes. Everyone is paying off their loans. Everyone that is, except for me. Here I am, living paycheck to paycheck. Just trying to stay ahead of the next round of bills. I'm tired of being alone at night. I'm sick of not having anyone to talk to when I go home. I miss the days of college when you lived in the bubble of work and school, all your friends were there all the time because you lived with them, and your biggest problem was which packet of ramen noodles you were going to eat."

The Married 30 Something: "I'm so jealous of all my single friends. They can do whatever they want to, whenever they want to. I love my kids. I love my spouse. But somedays, I just want to eat the last Oreo myself. I don't want to share my popsicle. If I want to vacation in Mexico...I buy a ticket. I miss the days when I just had some alone time."

The Empty Nester: "The kids are gone...what do I do now? How do I fill the time...the void? Sometimes I feel like my spouse is a stranger. We got so caught up in 'life' that we lost ours. I miss the days where the silence and time was filled with laughter and memories instead of reruns on Nick at Night."

Can you find yourself in any of those situations? Are you currently living one of those scenarios? One of the mistakes I think that we make as we get older is that we have the temptation to look at that second grader and think "they don't have it so bad." But at the time, those problems are very real...and very significant. 

But I don't write to focus on the problems. (Problems are the first part...the getting it out part.) I write so we can recognize the problems...but encourage each other to see beyond them. To know that you're not alone. To encourage each other to work through the tough spots and focus on the good things. We can turn every one of those scenarios around to a positive. Don't just stop with the focus on the troubles. Acknowledge them, but instead of letting them define or defeat you, use them as encouragement for yourself and others to continue to press on. Let them become the fuel for your fire. Money will come and go. Things are just things and can be replaced with other things. 

People are irreplaceable, and are what really matter. Be gentle with yourself and others. And when in doubt...

180º

Today was a bad day.

It was one of those days where one bad thing happens...and then another...and then another....until you hit the end of the day and you're either laughing because you honestly can't believe that a day this bad could actually be happening, or you're crying because it all just pushed you over the edge.

Today ended with the latter rather than the former. There were definitely tears...and not much laughter. The final straw came when I stepped on a carpet tack with my bare foot. But allow me to back up and relay the events of my day.

- Woke up feeling like the air had been sucked out of my lungs, coughing like an eight year old chain smoker.
- Cleaning crew at school had moved my students desks and not put them back. Again.
- In the middle of Junior religion the piano and I got into a fight. Piano, 1. Andrea, 0. Nothing like biting it in front of a class of high school Juniors.

- About ten minutes after I took my graceful float through the air I realized my foot was throbbing. Took a quick glance down and saw the top of my foot was growing. By the time I got to elevate it with some ice (almost two hours later), a lovely purple egg had taken up residence in between my ankle and toes. (This might also be a good place to mention that I booked a flight back to Milwaukee yesterday for my half marathon in two weeks...)
- I made it through the majority of my day fairly unscathed. That is, until I tried to go home after school at 5:30pm. Drove gma car across the lot, stopped at the office to mark myself out, came back outside...click. That's all she would do. Click. We tried jumping her. Click. We bought her a new battery. Click. The man who helped me said it was probably the starter. So I drove one of the school's vans home.

I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to go swimming at the pool. I just wanted a night that wasn't filled with work, to feel like a person. I called my friend (whose tire had exploded on the interstate earlier this week) to commiserate in the car woes of gma car (my car) and silver fox (his car). Talked to my mom for a little bit. Stepped on a carpet tack while I was trying to get ice for my still throbbing foot and wash the car grease off my hands from helping with the battery. And then I cried. And my car might not be fixed until next Tuesday. It's Thursday.

Let me try this again.

I woke up.

Someone else emptied the garbages for my classroom last night.
I have a piano in my music room.
My body responded to trauma like it should, with swelling to protect the affected area.
I had ice immediately accessible to me.
I get to go back to Milwaukee in two weeks. For two weekends in a row.
My car broke down at school. Where there were people to help me. And give me a ride to buy a new battery. And help me install it. People who smiled and waved at me after taking the time to help me after they had already coached a football practice.
My principal let me take a school owned vehicle home. So I could get home.
One of my co-workers knows a guy who can work on my car and won't kill me on the cost.
This is really only the second major thing I've had to fix on my car since I've owned it.
I have a car.
I had soap to wash my hands.
I have an ice cube maker in my freezer to make ice for my foot.
I can call my mom up on the phone and talk to her.
I have a friend that will listen to my problems, let me have the breakdown I need to have, and reach down and help me back up again.

One of my Facebook friends (who I've actually only met/hung out with once, but has truly affected my life and the way I look at/think about things) wrote a post today:

Dear Beautiful Struggle,
Im thankful for you. Its because of you that I am humble now. I see things so different now because of you. You have taught me so much. I am a better person who appreciates everything I am blessed with now. You have given me the vision to see past the fake people that smiled in my face while I struggled with you. They laughed they joked as if it was amusing to see someone struggle with you. Its cool though. They are out of my life now. They can see me shine now. No more struggle. No more pain. CHANGE IS GOOD. GOD IS GREAT. Goodbye beautiful struggle. My destiny awaits......






There truly is beauty in our struggles. No, no one wants the struggles. No one wants to go through the hard stuff. They are not easy, pleasant, or comfortable. I don't want to go back and relive this day tomorrow, by any stretch of the imagination. But I'm alive, I have a safe place to live, and I have some incredible people in my life who love and care about me far more than I could ever deserve. If that's not beauty in the midst of struggle, I don't know what is.

One day at a time. Tomorrow's a new day.

Live. Laugh. And most importantly...love.

Vegetarian Lasagna with Meat

I. Am. So. Full.

So full in fact, that this blog post is going to be much shorter than I originally planned. Because I can barely move.

And by that I mean I'm going to be too busy shoveling another piece into my face.

Quick backstory. I saw this recipe for Slow Cooker Spinach Lasagna on my Aunt Becky's Facebook wall about a week ago. It seemed like a GREAT idea...that is until I realized my slow cookers had gotten left behind in Wisconsin when I moved. No problem! I'll just adapt the recipe to regular lasagna.

Ingredients
1 16 oz container of ricotta cheese
1/2 cupish real parmesan cheese
1 egg
1 envelope of Lipton Recipe Vegetable Mix
-----
1 lb of ground turkey
1 jar of your choice of spaghetti sauce
1 can of diced tomatoes
-----
1 container for fresh mushrooms
2 large stalks of celery
1 chunk of diced onion
1 bag of frozen spinach (defrost and squeeze out remaining liquid)
-----
12 lasagna noodles (I used whole wheat noodles)
An unidentified amount of shredded mozzerella cheese

Because I've been trying to eat SUPER healthy, I try to pack in LOTS of veggies. I hit the produce aisle once a week at the grocery store to keep everything fresh. I added the ground turkey for the protein since I'm doing some pretty intense cardio workouts lately.



Here's what you do...


1) In a bowl, combine ricotta cheese, parmesan cheese, the egg, and the Lipton mix. Set aside.

 2) Brown ground turkey in a frying pan. Add various delicious Penzey's spices. Add jar of spaghetti sauce. Add can of diced tomatoes.

3) At a same time, throw a little olive oil into another frying pan with onion. Add mushrooms. Add celery. When veggies are nice and colorful, throw the spinach on top.









4) Add veggie frying pan to meat/tomato fry pan.

5) Don't forget to boil your noodles sometime.

Do you see my layers?

This made me two 8x8 pans. One I'll eat now. One is going into the freezer. Spray your Pyrex container with Pam Olive Oil before layering.

6) Put down a layer of noodles.
7) Put down a layer of meat/veggie mixture.
8) Put down a layer of ricotta mixture.
9) Sprinkle on mozzerella cheese.
10) Repeat as necessary.

I threw it into the oven at 400º for about 20 minutes.

Take out of oven. Use oven mitts. (Just a friendly reminder because you're going to be so excited to eat this.) Eat. Enter food coma.
Thanks for reading. I need to go eat some more. Yum!

Yum yum nom nom...Salsa Covered Chicken!

If you've read my blog before, you'll know that I wrote a post back in March where I brought up some of the struggles that I have had with maintaining a healthy weight, as some of the successes that I'd experienced thus far. That was four months ago.

A lot has changed in four short months...four months, two job offers (both of which were incredibly difficult decisions), buckets of tears, "one last" beers, a cross country move, a fallen bathroom ceiling, late nights, early mornings, a triathlon (which resulted in a 3 week sickness), a quarter marathon (see the picture at left), Summerfest, Brewers games, spending as much time as possible with the people I love, trying to become familiar with a new school, new routines, new procedures, more security codes than I can remember, etc. Let's just say that the last month I was in Wisconsin I didn't practice the healthiest habits. I enjoy more Spotted Cow than I normally would...because you can't get it outside of Wisconsin. Taco Bell became a regular stop because it was cheap and easy and delicious and my kitchen was already packed. Working out became a thing of the past and was replaced with packing late at night so that I could spend as much time as possible with people during normal daylight hours.

Needless to say, by the time I had gotten to Arizona and had partially unpacked (I say partially because I am still using boxes as furniture...I really need some bookcases) I hadn't totally fallen off of the bandwagon, but I was headed down a poor path. So...after only having been here three days, I went off in search of a gym. I visited a couple different ones, considered the different pricing vs. what I was looking for. I decided that my priorities in a gym were (in no particular order):

1. Pool. I have bad knees and ankles and it's important for me to have low-impact workout options available.
2. Hours. I need a place that I always have access to with my soon to be crazy schedule that is fairly close to home.
3. Environment. I was looking for a place where I could make some connections with people...since I was now living in a state where I could literally count the number of friends (that weren't 1800 miles away) on one hand. I also wanted a place environment where I could just go and get my sweat on if I didn't feel like talking to anyone.
4. Cost. I gotta be able to afford it, or at least rationalize the cost into my budget.

I joined the Lifetime Fitness on Tuesday, July 16th. (Seriously check out the website...it's GORGEOUS. They even had a rock wall. I love all the pools.) I have been to the gym everyday since. It's my sanity. Lots of perks when you join. One of the things that's included is a basic health assessment. They draw blood and break down things like fat and cholesterol to see what changes inside yourself you need to make, in addition to what you want to make on the outside. (I'm currently working on upping my "good" cholesterol" in case you were wondering...everything else was great numbers-wise.) Well, my metabolic specialist (fancy, right?) knew I wanted to work on dropping some pounds and suggested the 90 day weight-loss challenge that was about to kick off. I figured this was a great way to throw myself back into my healthy eating habits, feel better about myself, and even meet some new people (which I totally did tonight!) Each Tuesday you weigh in, they record it, and they offer some sort of class/seminar on either some sort of physical activity or positive eating habits.

Long story short (or long story long), I'm signed up. Last Saturday morning was my weigh in (181.1 pounds) and tonight when I weighed in (which I was dreading because I HATE weighing myself at night) at 177.9 pounds. Wow. That's the last thing I expected to see at the end of the day. Yay me!

Now before y'all jump on me and tell me that's too much too fast, and I start to get the "are you eating enough" texts...let me assure you. I am eating plenty. But I've changed when I'm eating. Nice thing about starting over in a new place, is that you start over in your kitchen. If it's not healthy (with the exception of Magnum bars...bachelorette tradition with my cousin), I don't buy it. If I don't buy it, it's not in my kitchen. If it's not in my kitchen, I can't eat it. If I don't eat it, problem eliminated. On the plus side, I am eating LOTS of protein (yes little A...the means lots of chicken breasts), tons of veggies (lots of colors), a variety of fruits (mostly berries), fats that are good for me, and I'm taking my vitamins and fish oil everyday.

All of this has been a VERY long intro for the recipe that I made tonight which was SO delicious that I wanted to share it with all of you. The main body of the recipe came from my friend who is on his own journey of healthy cooking. (Side note: It's awesome to have someone to get healthy recipes from and bounce cooking ideas off of...I highly recommend!) All measurements can be altered to your particular preference...there's no wrong way of making this one!

Yum yum nom nom Salsa Covered Chicken

2 large roma tomatoes

1/2 a cucumber

1/3 green pepper

1 stalk of celery

1/2 red onion

1 chunk of fresh mozzarella (emphasis on fresh...don't get the cheap brick stuff. The difference is worth it.)

Dice all ingredients. Put into bowl. Drizzle with olive oil (I used light). Season to liking. I used Penzey's Sweet Basil (French), a dash of Penzey's Oregano (Mexico), Penzey's Shallot Salt, a little Penzey's Onion Powder, a couple shakes of salt. Oh! And Penzey's Garlic Powder. Stir. Carefully. Really more like fold the ingredients together. Gently.

While those flavors were all infusing together. I threw some chicken breasts that had been sliced on my griddle. Those got Penzey's Chicago Steak Seasoning sprinkled liberally on them while grilling. Once they were done, I cut them up, gave one last stir to the salsa, and then generously put the salsa on top of the chicken. (If you are not cooking with Penzey's Spices, I insist that you stop reading for a moment and locate your closest retail store. Your cooking will never be the same. The picture at right is my cooking spice rack. There's another section for baking spices!)

Oh. My. Goodness. 

It was really good. And this from a girl who isn't particularly fond of tomatoes. I seriously couldn't shovel it into my mouth fast enough. Filling, healthy, light, and relatively easy to make (I made enough for my lunch tomorrow too)...I have a feeling that this is going to become a regular in the Arizona version of this Opps' House. And yes...I'm eating on a paper plate. Busy girl. Less clean up, more healthy cooking time.

Anyway, I should head to bed. Sleep is ALSO an important part of being healthy! Please check back (or share with others!) if you enjoyed my ramblings tonight. 89 days to go. I'll *try* very hard to keep everyone up to date on how it's going, as well as more recipes I try, and whatever else might be on my mind at the time. I'm just me...a work in progress. =) Happy Hump Day everyone!