#ConfessionNight

The advantage to getting up in the morning during the week to workout is that you get your day going right away and get a lot accomplished by the time you get to work in the morning. The disadvantage is that you end up waking up at 5:48am on a Sunday morning and can't fall back asleep.

So this morning, just like every other, I started my usual routine of checking the FB and Twitter from the warmth of my bed. Nothing super earth-shattering seemed to have happend in the 8 hours that I was asleep (yes, that means I fell asleep before 10pm on a Saturday night...) and then I saw a post that stopped me...

And it got me thinking...

And then I jumped on twitter and started quickly flipping through my feed. But a trending topic caught my eye...#ConfessionNight. So I hit the hashtag to snoop through them. Here are some of the things I found:

- #ConfessionNight ~ I may have emotional baggage.. but at least I can say I have loved someone.. May not have gone 2 plan but I dnt regret it
- I'm so sensative and insecure about myself.. #ConfessionNight
- #ConfessionNight I understand my reality but just chose to ignore it Denial works well for me
- #ConfessionNight I hate catching feelings because I Don't Want To Get hurt. So I keep my guard up.
- #ConfessionNight i Keep it real at all times. If I lie, it's because I care. The truth may hurt
- #ConfessionNight I care too much about people who don't care enough about me, & I always put others first when I mean nothing to them.
- #ConfessionNight I honestly can't wait to fall in love. ❤
- I make mistakes and sin everyday just like everyone else, but even though I know God loves me, I don't see why at times...#ConfessionNight
- #ConfessionNight I'm not quite sure what I do, but I seem to be really good at pushing people away
- #ConfessionNight ..i don't cry. I've cried so much in the past that i don't really feel anymore. Only certain things can make me cry
- #ConfessionNight Getting outta bed is one of the hardest challenges of the day.
- I hate when people walk out of my life, but what I hate more is when they make it look so easy. #ConfessionNight
- #ConfessionNight I want to go back to my ex
- Maybe I don't cry, but it hurts. Maybe I won't say, but I feel. Maybe I don't show, but I care. #ConfessionNight
- #ConfessionNight I wonder what goes through your mind when someone mentions my name to you.
- #ConfessionNight I'm sick of being single, but I don't wanna get screwed over.
- #ConfessionNight I want my first marriage to be my last. ❤
- #ConfessionNight I don't know how I plan to spend my life .. I'm just hoping things fall into place
- #ConfessionNight I have anger issues and an attitude problem, but it's only because I get hurt easily. My hurtful words are my defense.
- #ConfessionNight I need to get closer to God, like, WAY closer. But I keep slipping. And I wanna make a change before it's too late :/
- #ConfessionNight God is the ONLY one who's been there through ALL of my struggles & I don't thank him enough .
- #ConfessionNight Christmas is my favorite holiday of all time, because for me it's all about God, my family, and us being together.
- #ConfessionNight 2012 has been the worst year of my life
- #ConfessionNight I tend to push away everyone that actually cares about me.
- #ConfessionNight cuddling helps me sleep

Everyday I see literally over a hundred people. People at the gym, people who drive by me on my walk to work, people at work, people at the grocery store, people when I go out, people at volleyball, etc. And sometimes I wonder...what are the pretty smiles hiding? Why do the pretty eyes cry? Who is protecting the heart that's already been put through the wringer? And as I sat and read everyone's confessions...it seemed like a lot of "confessions" were really people opening up about their insecurities.

And it reminded me of one of those late night conversations.

You know, the ones that usually happen between 2 and 5am after a couple of drinks where, for some reason or another, the honesty just seems to pour out? Where all the things that you hold inside everyday and keep to yourself have a safe place to be heard. Where the things you carry around with you everyday become a little lighter, just because someone takes the time to listen. And some of those things you've been carrying, you don't have to carry by yourself anymore. Where you look at the person across the table from you and realize they just get it. And you. And it's almost like you want to bottle that feeling up, because you realize that you're sitting across from a best friend and there's no where else you'd rather be at that very moment. And that years from now, even if life is different, you look back on that moment and smile.

P.S. I know it's been awhile since I've blogged, but I do have a good reason for the break in posts. Ask me if you really want to know. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging...