Saturday, March 23, 2013
Audience reaction: Wait, what did she just say?
I didn't plan on getting fat.
I didn't wake up one morning and think, "Man I'd like to pack on some pounds."
I didn't think, "You know what I need? Some insecurity. My middle could use some jiggle that makes me nervous and embarrassed."
I didn't think, "I wanna wonder if that guy doesn't want to go out with me because I'm not as skinny as the girl next to me."
I didn't wake up one morning and want to have a wardrobe of black because it's slimming.
Audience reaction: This is very un-politically correct...her using the word fat. She should say big boned, or voluptuous, or broad...not fat.
But I am. Or at least I was. That's the cold, hard truth. It's like AA...you have to knowledge your problem, and own it.
I don't think anyone of us has ever woken up and had these thoughts. But I'm willing to bet that some people have woken up and thought "who cares, I'm alone already." Or "who cares, I've already put on the weight." Or "who cares, it's just one piece of cake...or chocolate...or ice cream. It won't make a difference." Or "who cares, I can't change anything about it."
Time to make a change and stop donating money to the WAC (my gym, the Wisconsin Athletic Club). Time to get my buns out of bed and make some returns on the $30 coming out of my paycheck every month.
These are reasons, not excuses.
Don't use the reasons as excuses. Start to figure out solutions. Maybe that means re-prioritizing some aspects of your life. Maybe it's trying something you haven't done before. Maybe it's saving funds. Maybe it's just starting.
It's not easy. Nothing worth getting ever is. But you can do it. You can make good choices. You can find solutions to the reasons. Not every day is going to be perfect. No one is asking you for perfection. But all you have to do it try. One day at a time. One step at a time. Don't be discouraged by the days you take a step backwards. It's all the more reason to wake up and take two steps forward the next day.
A work in progress...that's me. I definitely still have my work cut out for me. But...one day at a time, one step at a time. Day by day, note by note, mile by mile.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Is there a better time to start a blog post?
Be happy. Sometimes it's a lot easier said than done. After two days of trying to balance a lot of things on my mind...you're telling me. There are things that happen in our lives that are completely out of our control that might affect our happiness. But we can control how we react to them. I'm a work in progress. I've never pretend to have it all figured out. But I'm trying. And each day, I get a little bit closer to whatever it is. Whatever "being happy" is.
I've wondered if what I'm looking for is contentment. But I feel like happiness is a step above contentment. Content to me means functional. I'm not unhappy but I'm not excited. I just am. But when people ask me how I'm doing, I want to respond with...happy.
I guess the relationships I have in my life are another check on the happiness scale. And honestly, I think for the first time in a long time I am happy. Do I have some work to do? Absolutely. One of the things that I've had a hard time with watching my girlfriends from college get married and move on with their lives, is that I have felt left behind. (Wow, I actually didn't see that statement coming...saving that one for another blog post.) So the girlfriends that I have in my life right now are really important to me. I try to make sure that there is always time for the girls. Cause they're usually the ones there next to you handing you a spoon and the Ben and Jerry's when you need them to.
I swear...I can take a normal picture...
Sunday, March 17, 2013
"I couldn't help but wonder..."
I think this phrase is probably where most of my blogs start. Musings. Ideas. Thoughts. Questions. Conundrums. Call them what you will. When I start looking for answers is usually when the thoughts start flowing. Lately I've found myself constantly looking for answers. About all different kinds of things. Some answers I know I'll never find. Sometimes I'm just really looking for affirmation of what I already know. Sometimes in the process of asking the question, I find the answer I wasn't even looking for. But they live here. The thoughts and questions and answers I seek, they can all be found here (well, most of them anyway. This is the internet after all. There has to be a little privacy...). I share them with whoever is reading because, frankly, I think a lot of us are asking the same questions. Or are thinking them. Or are trying to figure things out...just like me. And who wants to be doing it alone? Ultimately the answers and decisions you make are your own, but maybe we can move together in the same direction. And if not, that's ok too. No one said you have to be my friend or read my blog. But I'm kinda a fun girl and I do like to laugh a lot...so there's that.
Anyway, that's a really long way of saying...I wrote the entry below last Thursday in between my students' lessons. I didn't get a chance to finish it, but just like me...it's a work in progress. There will be more thoughts about this along the way. But until then...read, run, laugh, love...and be happy.
It's always hard when I have two different blog ideas floating around in my head and they're both at opposite ends of the spectrum. Do I write the raw blog (and no, I'm not talking about good) or do I write the one about my workout activities? Sometimes the better question is which one do I have time to write? But then again, really what drives my best blogs is the inspiration (inspiration...not persperation...this isn't a workout blog yet) behind my topic.
But we've going to forgo the religion talk for tonight (but stay tuned. I will be writing a blog on my experiences. Otherwise known as: "My View from the Pew." You know I actually wanted to write a blog just about my experiences visiting all different Milwaukee churches. Ah yes, another lifetime when I have oodles of time. Like when I'm 80. Wait, let's be real...I'll see be going 100 miles an hour when I'm 80. BUT I DIGRESS...).
We're also going to skip the workout talk. Although I am pretty pumped to write that blog as well. I'm going to have to do that sometime this weekend as I'm starting something *brand new* on Sunday. I'M REALLY EXCITED (whoa caps, I didn't mean to do that, but I figured since the caps and the words were apropos I'd leave it) to share it with you. Onto the Saturday "to do" list it goes...
As I'm typing this, in the background I'm listening to the Dixie Chick's cover of Stevie Nicks song "Landslide." In the last couple weeks I've had some really good opportunities to reflect on a lot of different things. My job (huzzah to reviews and raises), my financial goals (trying to get all my debt paid off...except student loans. We've entered into a long term relationship. Ha.), my spiritual life (constant work in progress), my musical self (never enough attention here), my physical life (dear WAC, I'm in love with you, even if you beat me down every time I'm there.) my race goals for the summer (two triathlons, one sprint and one olympic, and a half marathon), etc. But I've also gotten to think about me and where my head is at as far as some of the relationships in my life. Family. Friends. Love.
More to come...stay tuned.