Monday, October 29, 2012

Day 29...lacking thoughts...

Today was one of those come home and work nights. Living room clean...kitchen clean...dishes done...bedroom clean...laundry done AND put away...made yummy supper and beer bread muffins...but that means mediocre blog post. Tomorrow I'll write more friends. Until then...

Besitos.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Day 28...tired

So tired. I actually do have blog posts from the last two day, but I'm so exhausted right now, you're going to have to wait until tomorrow. Good stuff is coming, I promise.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Day 26...a little Bob...

Food for Thought...


“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Day 25...it's not easy being green...

It's not easy being green. Ok Kermit, I get it. Being green would be slightly awkward if you weren't a frog. But it's not that hard. You ARE a frog. People expect it from you. I'd like to suggest changing it to "It's not easy being me." Allow me to explain.

Sometimes I am a walking disaster. I seriously cause more physical harm to myself than one person should be allowed. On more than one occasion I have told my mother that I should not be allowed to live by myself because someday I'm going to injure myself and not be able to get anyone to help me. Fortunately for me, there are no cats in this crazy lady's life so I don't have to worry about the cat eating my face before help is able to show up. (I hope the SATC fans out there enjoyed my reference to one of Miranda's neuroses, that let's be honest, has crossed any single girl's mind when contemplating bringing a cat into your life).

Some of the injuries I've cause myself are just ridiculous. Tonight, the first thing? Smacked my head getting into my car...on the car frame. I don't even know how I did that! Somehow I managed to make it home from the store without further injury...until of course I walked into my kitchen. Again, no clue how I even managed to do this, but somehow my foot got caught on one of the cabinet doors and the door plunged into the side of my ankle. Oops...I meant my surgically reconstructed ankle. (Side note on that...Why is your ankle surgically rebuilt, you may ask? Great question! I sprained it getting off of a lawn mower and the tendons never shrunk back. Yes, getting off of a lawn mower. I'm THAT talented.) A couple of weeks ago I managed to slice my knuckle open on the toilet paper dispenser at a restaurant. How I DO this?

*Tangent for the Evening* I remembered as I was looking for the above picture that I have a picture of myself from when I was a little girl with my Kermit the Frog puppet. I LOVED playing with that puppet, and did so probably longer that it should have been played with. I'm convinced that Kermit started my love/collection of frogs that has continued far into my adulthood. There are a couple of frogs that have a special place in my heart. One of them is the Kermit puppet you see in the picture to the right. And yes, that is me. Yes, my hair was naturally that curly. No, I don't know why Kermit is trying to bite my face off.

I also have a set of ceramic frogs my Grandma Dorothy made when she was younger that I had the honor of receiving when she passed away. They sit on my window sil in my apartment and I think of her whenever I see them. And the latest frog that I have is the most significant is that buddy you see on the left. This frog I got while I was on a band tour in high school. I got him at the Flume Waterfall State Park in New Hampshire and promptly named him Flume Frog. Generally the past 13 years this has been shortened to just "Frog." We've gone on lots of travels and adventures together. He always rides in my carryon in the airplane. We can't risk losing Frog in checked luggage. More recently Frog has made a new friend, is now referred to as "Mr. Frog," and even has had a song written about him (think "Spiderpig").

Well kids...there's my daily blog for today. We're 25 of 365 days in and I've managed to make it this far everyday. Until tomorrow...

Live. Laugh. Love.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Day 24...the online dating profile...

It's ok...welcome to the safe place. And by safe place, I mean the place where anyone who's single can admit that at one point of another they've been on a dating website without anyone casting judgement.
And in all honesty, most of us who are single in the their late 20's have tried online dating at some point. Now I know...your friend's brother's cousin twice removed found the love of their life on a dating website, so if it worked for them it can work for you right? Sure. As long as you're willing to wade through a whole mess of people that, if we're honest, just kinda creep you out.

Now before I get any farther, let me just say...there are plenty of nice people on dating websites. Or so I've been told. I'll let you know when I meet them. I kid, I kid. There actually are a small number of people on dating websites that are cool peeps, that even if it didn't work out, I wouldn't mind getting together with again over a cold one and some Brewers chit chat. And then there are the other 99%. One of my girl friends and I joke that we're going to write a book about the interesting people that we have met on dating websites and gone out with. Sometimes we leave a date thinking, "And I know why THEY're on a dating website." But that only leads us down the "so why am I on a dating website" path, and for a 20 something female...well let's just say it's a dangerous path.

For those of you who's never created a dating profile before, think of it as taking your Facebook profile and bending the truths more than you did on FB to make your ex boyfriend jealous (we know that guy in your profile pic is just your cousin...but the ex doesn't...). Now you're trying to coax a gentleman suitor into thinking you're 1- hot enough to show your pic to his buddy to get the bro approval, 2- funny/sarcastic enough to spend the money to at least buy you a drink, 3- interesting enough to spend an hour with, 4- have enough pictures up to make you think that they've been taken within the last 5 years and might be accurate, and 5- have enough pictures up with people in them so that it looks like you have friends.

So now you've attracted someone to write you a message (assuming of course that you've paid the $40 per month to be judged by countless people within a given radius more so than if you'd walked down the block to the local bar, so that you can actually read the message unless you're using a free dating website, in which case that might deserve it's own blog post all together). You have a new message waiting for YOU in your inbox! *Insert "You're Got Mail! complete with dialup connection noises here* You click the link and are greeting with the linguistic styles somewhere in between Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, and Peter Griffin.

Examples:
- Hi.
- ur cute wanna chat
- red ur post. lets git to no each other
- yur eyez r gorgus. i think we have alot in common. we should chat.
- your so pretty.

Please. Hold me back. (And if you think I'm joking, I'd be more than happy to send you a screen shot sometime of an actual online dating inbox...I have one around here somewhere.) Ok, people. I get it. So you're not Billy Shakespeare. But would it kill you to at least run the spellcheck? Heck, on most computers the misspelled words are even underlined in red. I can overlook a your/you're every now and then, but when it's constantly misspelled, I go into a bit of a grammatical coma.

This is usually the point at which I say this is for the birds, log off, and call up a friend to drink wine. You don't get to know someone over a computer screen. You get to know someone by spilling wine on them during your first date. Or tripping over the sidewalk as you walk up to meet them. Or forgetting about that spinach salad you ate before meeting up with them for coffee. (Oh wait...that's just me? My bad.) But in all seriousness, you get to know someone by the look in their eyes when you're sitting across from them. By that first time that they reach over and take your hand. By the conversation that starts at 11pm and the next thing you know it's 4am. By the way they wrap their arms around you and it's the best place in the entire world. By the time they help you back up when you're down (this could be physically or emotionally...in my case it would definitely be both). By realizing that you were both nerdy show choir/band people. By learning the sound of their voice that tells you when they're overly
tired, beyond the point of hungry (ladies, watch out for this one with your men...they become ravenous wolves), frustrated with themselves, frustrated with you, excited about something but want you to guess what they're excited about because they might have mentioned it but you were in the middle of something and now you're wracking your brain to try and remember what was happening Thursday afternoon this week, looking for sympathy, needing support, are asking you to do something without actually asking you, and all the other emotions and feelings that fill in the rest of the little cracks. 

I guess what I'm saying is this (took me awhile to get here, huh?)...if you're going to get to know someone...get to know them. Not what's on their Facebook. Not what's on their Twitter. Not on Google+. Not on their Instagram. Not on their MySpace (haha, only kidding...no one's there anymore anyway). Not on their dating profile. Not on their text message.
(<--Important one folks...pick up the phone and actually have some voice on voice contact. Back in my day, {old geezer talking now} there wasn't any of this new fangled text messaging. If you wanted to talk to the boy you liked...you actually had to talk to him. And relationships were better for it!) Get to know the person that they are in real life, not in digital life. Because the moment that they look at you, and you hear them tell you "I love you," well, that's more than any text message could say.

Until tomorrow...

P.S. If you want to read the inspiration for today's blog, head on over to Single Dad Laughing and read this article about online dating profiles. Funny stuff.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Day 23...a little something beautiful

Sometimes we rush through our days...trying to cross things off our list of things to accomplish...and we miss some of the really simple beautiful things in life.


Take two and a half minutes, hit play, close your eyes, shut off the rest of the world, and enjoy something truly beautiful.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Day 22...fear...and trust

Have you ever had one of those "aha" moments. Where you have been questioning and questioning for months, and then in a moment of clarity, everything clicks. One of these moments struck me today while talking with my good friend about recent events in my life. I'll explain, but let me back up for a moment.

I had one of these moments a couple of weeks while I was in my voice lesson. All of a sudden it dawned on me that the thing holding me back from really opening up and singing...was my fear. Fear of what my voice would do, fear of what it would sound like, if it would be on key, if it would break, etc. Because if I'm honest, I spent most of my collegiate singing career in fear. Mostly fear of judgement from my peers. I know that sounds dumb to some people, but I just wanted people to think that I was good at something. I wanted that validation. Why I wanted it from fellow undergrads and not my professors, I couldn't tell you. But at the time it was so important to me. And now, five years later when I no longer care what any of those people think, some of that fear still remains.

What's the opposite of fear? For me, it's trust. Trust that my voice will do what it was made to do. I was made with the instrument. Why am I doubting it's capabilities? And then it  hit me...this isn't just something that happens in singing, this is something that happens in life. What keeps us from trying something new? Fear. From exploring the unknown? Fear. From achieving our goals? Fear. We spend so much time in fear of the outcome, that we don't allow ourselves time to even start the begin the process of trying. Why is that? What is it that we fear? Ridicule? Embarrassment? An uncomfortable situation? Failure? Disappointment? Social rejection? Showing weakness?

OK, fast forward back to today. So I'm in this conversation with my friendand all of a sudden it dawns on me, I'm letting fear hold me back from a situation in my life. I think anyone that has ever been dumped, booted to the curb, has been used, or had a relationship (friendship of otherwise) end badly, will admit that the next time they started a relationship with the next person, they were just a little more cautious. It's not that you aren't healed from old wounds, it's just that the scars are still there. And that's where the fear starts to creep in. It starts as just a little bit of doubt, but if you let it sit there and grow, it will quickly become your roadblock.

I have become my own roadblock. I realized that while I'm waiting for someone else to give me the reassurance that I need from them, I was in turn holding back the reassurance that they needed from me. Relationships with people are a two way street. And that goes for any kind of relationship...parents and children, teachers and students, friends, lovers...there is always a balance of give and take. And sometimes you have to be the one to let the trust take over the fear. We need to have a Julia Child attitude not just about cooking, but sometimes about life too.

Am I saying that you will always have positive experiences when you trust yourself enough to put yourself out there? Nope, not at all. And sometimes the result of your trust will be disappointment. But if you never trust yourself enough to put your fear behind you, you might miss out on some really wonderful people and experiencesexperiences that will shape you into the person you are becoming. One of my friends posted on Facebook today, "If you live your life in hindsight you'll never see what's in front of you." Look forward. Live boldy. Laugh loudly. Love much. Without hesitancy or regret.

I think it's time for me to start taking some of my own advice.


Sunday, October 21, 2012

Day 21...short Sunday night post

Hi all. Tonight will be another short post. Tomorrow will be a longer post about some upcoming changes I'm going to making. Excited to tell you about them. Until then...goodnight, sleep tight, and pleasant dreams to you....

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 20...my life is exhausting...

I am beyond exhausted.

Little sleep.

Little coffee.

Lots of miles.

Lots of friends.

Lots of family.

Lots of Badgers touchdowns.

Lots of beverages.

Lots of music.

Lots of sarcasm.

Lots of laughs.

Lots of love.

Tired, happy girl.


Friday, October 19, 2012

Day 19...gameday countdown

Tomorrow I'm headed to the Badgers game for the Battle of the Ax. SUPER Excited...and with some of my fav peeps. Early rising...night kids!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Day 18...smile...

The first time I ever heard the song smile was in the movie My Girl 2. It was one of those songs that for some reason I immediately fell in love with. The music was actually written by Charlie Chaplin in his 1936 movie, Modern Times (fast forward to 1:25:00 to hear the song). I've heard many different versions of this song done by some incredible musical artists, but to this day, the one below is my favorite. I just feel like the emotion portrayed  is so spot on to the lyrics.

(The song comes at about 1:35, unless you want to reminisce part of your childhood...then watch all 3 minutes and 20 seconds. =)

Tonight I got to see a couple of my favorite people, each of whom had a smile for me and it got me thinking about how much a smile can really affect someone, and how it can be an unspoken communication between two people. Tonight there were many different smiles...nervous, happy, anxious, excited, mischievous, welcoming, exhausted, comforting,  and smiles from just plain ol' happiness. It also amazes me how a smile from that special someone can turn a crappy day right-side up again, or make anger and frustration simply melt away. There's comfort in the smile of someone that you care about. 

But isn't there comfort in the smile of a stranger sometimes as well? Have you ever been in a situation where a stranger has just done something nice completely out of the blue, they've smiled and you, and then went on their merry way. If you've never had this happen to you, or never done something like this I highly recommend it. Do something just because...not because you're going to get anything out of it, and the smile you get from the recipient will be one of the most genuine and beautiful smiles you'll ever see.


I love this saying. Often times we meet the most unexpected people in the most unexpected places. I can think of several of my best friends that I met merely by happenstance. What if I were to have met them at a time where I was upset or angry instead of laughing and smiling? Life is too short. Gotta laugh hard, live fully, and love much. 

Because sometimes after a rough day...a smile is all you need.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile through your fears and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
If you...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just
Smile.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Day 17..all things to all people...

You can't be all things to all people.

This is completely the opposite of who I am inside. When I see someone hurting, I want to help them. I never turn my phone off and sleep with next to my bed, just in case there's an accident or someone needs to be taken to the hospital in the middle of the night (I'm being serious about this, same reason my gas tank is never on empty). If I go out to eat with someone, I prefer that they pick where we go so that they are comfortable. You need help with something? Let me change my schedule around a bit. Had a bad day? Let's go get a drink and you can tell me about it.  You're stressed out...don't worry, I'll take care of it. Don't have time for laundry? Let me run a load for you while I'm doing mine. 

To me, none of these things are a big deal. It makes me happy to be that person that everyone can count on. I enjoy being able to help people and make their lives a little easier. But about two years after college, I had quit my teaching job and moved back to Wisconsin and my life was like a puzzle box that got tipped upside down. I was balancing six different jobs, living in Jefferson, working from Lake Mills to Milwaukee, and starting grad school. The *only* reason I ever knew where I was going was because my schedule was in my iPod touch (not and iTouch...there's no such thing). It literally told me where I was going to be sleeping on any given night (thanks to everyone who let me crash on their couches). I was basically living out of my car, running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

The guilt I had was incredible. My friends would ask me to do things with them, and to be real honest...I didn't have the time, the money, or the energy. But I felt SO GUILTY. (Which, for the record, is a terrible reason to do something.) It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with these people. I would have LOVED to! I was just running myself ragged physically, emotionally, and financially. And then I learned this word...

No. 

One of the simplest words to say (parents, just wait until your kids learn this one!) and yet for me, one of the most difficult words to say. I never wanted to disappoint anyone, or let anyone down. I didn't want to cause someone inconvenience if I could help them. But what I came to learn was that the people that were truly my friends understood when I had to say it to them. Because they knew how much it upset me to tell them know. And the people I thought were my friends, got upset and didn't understand at all. I was in the process of finding myself, and rediscovering who I was. I needed the love and support of those people who were around me to figure it out.

Because the truth is, when you say "no," you're not saying it just to be rude. (At least I hope not!) You're saying it because you need to re-prioritize your life. You're saying because the people and things that are TRULY important, have been there for you in the past, and will be there for you in the future...have fallen by the wayside. You're saying it because you need to find that balance between making yourself happy and making everyone else happy. When you are in a good place, you're in a good place to help other people. 

These days I'm a lot better at saying "no." Oh, don't get me wrong...I still tend to overload myself some days. The stress level starts to rise and I feel like I'm constantly running. I usually start to get pretty clumsy and all takes is a good run into a wall or trip over an end table for me to realize what I've gotten myself into. (Coincidently, this is one of the reasons I'm constantly telling my mother I shouldn't be allowed to live alone...too many stupid things.) I still love being there for my friends. I love going over and playing with the little munchkins and being "Auntie Andrea" or "Miss Andrea." I love giving my friends a ride to get their oil changed, or giving them a lift home after work. And I love being the person that someone can vent to, or talk to about stuff they need to get out of their head and off of their heart. (Mmmmm, warm fuzzies.)

You can't be all things things to all people, but to the people in your life that truly love and care about you,  you are one of the most important things. Love you all!


Day 17...for all the weather nerds out there...

There have been some spectacular sunrises and sunsets recently here in Milwaukee. I took this photo a couple weeks ago in front of Miller Park...


Have you ever wondered why there are so many beautiful sunrises/sunsets in autumn? Check out this article from Weather.com that discusses why the colors are so vivid this time of year. Here's the link to the article on the website. (I blame my mother for my weather nerdiness...she loves to watch The Weather Channel all the time.)


Why Autumn Sunsets Are So Vivid

Updated: Oct 17, 2012, 6:34 AM EDT weather.com
Branson, Mo.
1 OF 30

Branson, Mo.

iWitness Photo/1969x28dz302
  • Branson, Mo.
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As days grow shorter, the skies at sunset glow with the most spectacular hues, blooming with pinks, reds and oranges.
Why are autumn and winter sunsets more vivid than any other time of the year?
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First, a lesson in the colors of the rainbow: Blue light has a short wavelength, so it gets scattered easiest by air molecules, such as nitrogen and oxygen. Longer wavelength lights -- reds and oranges -- are not scattered as much by air molecules.
During sunrise and sunset, light from the sun must pass through much more of our atmosphere before reaching our eyes, so it comes into contact with even more molecules in the air. Much of the blue light gets scattered away, making the reds and oranges more pronounced.
During this time of year, weather patterns allow for dry, clean Canadian air to sweep across country, and more colors of the spectrum make it through to our eyes without getting scattered by particles in the air, producing brilliant sunsets and sunrises that can look red, orange, yellow or even pink.