...new year...new age...new blog

They say that if you can consistently complete a task for a whole month, you’ve created a habit for life. Clearly “they” have never met me. I managed to blog every day for the entire month of October and effectively fall off the face of the blogosphere for most of November and all of December. Now, twenty-two days into a new year, I’m attempting a revival. Time to get back into blogging and attempted entertainment. I can’t promise how often I’ll be able to jump on here or how entertaining it will be, but have no fear…an effort will be made.

So with a new year comes a host of resolutions from individuals around the world. Time magazine lists the top ten broken New Year’s resolutions as: lose weight and get fit, quit smoking, learning something new, eat healthier and diet, get out of debt and save money, spend more time with family, travel to new places, be less stressed, volunteer, and drink less. Now that we’ve 2/3 of the way through January and 2/3 of the people who made resolutions for 2013 have a success rate of far less than 66% (or 2/3 in fraction world…see what I did there? =) I figured it was time for my annual reflection on life. January is a double whammy for me…new year on the 1^st and another year older on the 12^th. Lots of opportunity for reflection. Yes, I know I’m only 29, but with each year older I get, the more reflective I get, and the more I realize how little I actually know.

A couple of years ago I started making New Year’s resolutions. After a few years of failed resolutions halfway through the year (ok, I lied…it was more like the end of January or February) I changed my thinking. Instead of resolutions that make you feel like a failure, I started making goals to work on throughout the year or longer if necessary. If you caught my goal progress report blog from last October, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

2012 goals were: No pop until May 5, run a half marathon, kiss someone who is worth it, give people the benefit of the doubt, get together with Amy once a month, don’t take things personally, let go of anger, use struggles/obstacles as positives and not negatives, look for the good/seek to understand/be gentle, go to a Packers game, write 3 pieces of music, see a Broadway show, read a book a month, write down my thoughts more often, electronic detox once a month, eat more fruit, finish 2012 without credit card debt, be a good listener, play more piano.

Looking back, that was quite an ambitious list of goals for myself. Some of the goals (see a Broadway show) I knocked out of the park. Others were modified (run a half marathon? I did a 5k, 8k, 15k, and triathlon but wasn’t able to get that half done. September 2013 will hopefully check that off my list). And others just didn’t happen this year (no Packers game for me…and those three piece of music are still floating in my head). But looking back over 2012 I can honestly say that even though I wasn’t able to “check off” all of my goals, I experience more new things and learned more about myself, relationships, men, and life in general than I ever anticipated.

Before the New Year started I was chatting with one of my good friends about what we wanted to change in the new year, our resolutions (or goals if you will). After quite the wild ride of a year (laughter, tears, adventure, discovery, change, etc.), I decided that I was going to simplify my goals for 2013 down to only one goal and two words:

I want to live a life where if someone asks me, “How are you?” I can reply with “I’m happy.” Well jeez Andrea, how do you just be happy? You can’t just press a button and have a life that you’re happy with. It’s not that easy. Correct as usual King Friday! (10 points to whoever can name the show that comes from…Your hint? I hear it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…) It’s a great opportunity to actually stop and think about what it is that makes you happy. Here’s what makes me happy:

 - Enjoying the little things.
 - Feeling confident about myself.
 - Having a job that doesn't feel like work.
 - Loving people.

Four things. I can keep four things in check on the happiness meter, right? It might be harder than you think. I’m finding that each one of those four things comes with lots of subcategories. But stay tuned! I’ll tell you all about them, and what I’m doing to maintain “be happy.” I can only imagine that I’m in for another roller-coaster of a ride. 2013 for the win…

Day 15...random musings..really random...

Well, some days the blog has been less than stellar, but I've made it two weeks so far. I did a pretty lame job at blogging this weekend, but only because I was too busy trying to cram as much into 2 1/2 days as possible. (I could Friday as a half day...any day that lasts until almost 2am gets it's own halfday in my book.) And what a great 2 1/2 days it was. One of the highlights of my weekend might have been buying new pillows. I’d been having some back problems that had landed me at the chiropractor and one of her suggestions was to go down to one pillow instead of multiples. I didn’t really have a GOOD pillow, so when I saw that they were on sale at Kohl’s this weekend, I jumped! After a full nights’ sleep, I’m happy to report I LOVE them. Now…onto my random lunch hour musings…

I’ve always been interested in people. How they act, and how they react…and then based on those outcomes how it affects their lives. I believe that everything happens for a reason (Big Guy upstairs in control, allowing different things to come into our lives), so how have all of those events affected us? All of the events in our life up to this very moment have shaped us into who we are right now. The fights, the heartaches, the disappointments, the choices, the laughter, the tears, the successes, the failures…they make us into the person that we are today. Have we learned from them? Have we moved forward? Or have we allowed them to hold us back? It reminds me of one of my favorite songs from Wicked, “For Good.” I loved the double entendre of the lyrics.

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good.

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime. So let me say before we part, so much of me is made from what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have re-written mine be being my friend. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good.

This reminds me of a conversation that I had with one of my friends in college. We were talking about our close knit friend circle and how I couldn't ever imagine not being friends with them. He told me about his sisters and how far away they moved from everyone, including their friends from college. I remember saying how sad it would be to lose all of the friendships. And then he told me something that has stuck with me ever since. He said (paraphrased), “Andrea, wherever you are is where your friends will be.” Maybe it doesn’t seem like an earthshattering revelation to you, but looking back on my life…truer words could not have been said. Where you are in your life at any particular moment is where your friends are. Relationships grow and change. Some friendships evolve and move through life with you…and some don’t. Some friends you might not see for a long time, but when you do it as like a moment had never passed. And some relationships are wonderful gems in your past that have truly changed you for good.

One of my favorite things to do is just sit and people watch. Maybe that seems kind of creepy/stalkerish, but I find it so interesting how people act and interact. I’m always wondering what their backstory is…why are they where they are? How did they get to this very point in their life? Where did the wrinkles come from? Why the bandaid on the finger? Where are they going after this? When I see two people out to dinner, I start to write their story. Friends or lovers? Is this their first date or have they been together for years? Is the silence awkward or comfortable? Why did they come here tonight?

As I was sitting at Starbucks with some good friends last Saturday morning we started watching all of the different people picking up their Saturday morning caffeine fix. The two girls that came in who were clearly wearing last night’s outfit and makeup. The little girl that poked her finger into the whipped cream top of her drink who came in with her dad to visit her mom, the barista. The Liza Minnelli lookalike. The young man who stood with tears in his eyes waiting for his drink. The old man who after getting his drink sat down behind us to listen to our stories for a bit. The college student with the backpack and books and computer who spent more time on Facebook than doing her homework. The field hockey players. All different people…with different stories.

I love stopping someone with a smile. And saying thank you. And actually meaning it. And understanding the difference. I love the random conversation in the grocery store. I love giving random compliments to strangers. Raspberries on baby bellies. (Why is it that they smell so good?? Well…most of the time.) Next time you’re running your errands and you thank the bank teller for your change, actually look them in the eyes, tell them thank you, and mean it. When the waitress asks the obligatory, “How are you doing today?” ask them how their day is going, and truly mean it. I almost always get an answer beyond “fine, thanks.”

It is amazing to me how human touch can affect an individual. Imagine a day where you didn’t touch anyone. No one sleeping next to you in bed. No one to kiss before work. No child to hug as you dropped them off at the babysitters. No coworker to high five. No friend’s hand to hold. No one to slap your butt as you make dinner in the kitchen. No one to hug when you start to cry over a bad day at work. No one to sit next to on the couch watching tv. No one to trip you on your way there. No one to smack on the arm after they trip you. No one to grab you and wrestle with you after you’ve smacked them. No one to help you with the bandaid when you slice your finger. No one to lean up against while watching the evening news. No chest to fall asleep on. No one to wrap their arms around you, hold your hand and protect you from the rest of the world. No one to kiss your forehead as you fall asleep. You start to think about how sad and depressing it would be. I know how much it means to me when I get a really good hug from a close friend. Or just someone to sit next to and lean my arm against. (Don’t think I’m a super touchy feely person, in fact I’m just the opposite. I don’t have a problem with those people that I love and care about. But if you’re a stranger…sorry, you’re probably just getting a handshake.) I think of those in solitary confinement and how mentally debilitating that would be. I read an article this last weekend on “5 Reasons to Make Time for Cuddling.” (Don’t make fun…I was actually researching for this blog!) Human touch affects us physically, mentally, and emotionally, and cuddling with someone fulfills us in all three aspects. I know I love a good cuddle…lucky for me, so does Mr. Frog. =)

I suppose that’s enough randomness for one day from this hopelessful romantic. I'll leave you with some wise words from the great Winnie the Pooh.